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Demons
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| (STICKY)
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With the hormone in my former pills (T4) I had slowly increased the dosage until I took 500 micrograms which is an enormous amount. And I still fought with the symptoms caused by not enough hormones.
In my new pill there's 100 micrograms of T4 and 20 micrograms of T3 and yesterday evening for the first time ever I experienced hyperfunction symptoms (fast beating heart, woozy, sweating) - which was really unpleasant, too. I wouldn't have thought things would have any effect so soon, either.
But after a sweaty night (and not in the good way) I feel awake for the first time in weeks this morning. Right now my body seems to be having the exact amount of hormones needed. So I just took another of the new pills - if I get another racing heart / pounding head / dizzy / sweaty fit today I'm going to only take half a pill tomorrow.
Yesterday this hyperfunction attack was scary but today I'm sooo happy something has changed!
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Dream 1, middle of the night:
I went on holidays and remembered my doctor's appointment too late, being far away (on an effing mountain - I'd never even go there for holidays...).
Dream 2, morning:
I went to the doctor and found out later that I got the wrong pills and had to call them for yet another appointment and then there was some kind of global disaster or alien invasion or something so I couldn't get back but was stuck on a train.
For real:
This morning I just went there, got my prescription, the pharmacy had my pills, I took the first and now I can wait that hopefully things will get better in the next days.
| | 9 demons<add something> |
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Deteriorating health the next day: oedema
My feet look like potato sacks. They aren't even feet shaped anymore but bloated bulging blobs. Looking at them makes me cry.
This is an often mentioned symptom of thyroid hypofunction but I haven't had it until now and added to all the other stuff it tipped me over the edge of a minor nervous breakdown.
I took one of my mother's pills to get the water out of the tissue and it made my hands really slim (which aren't effected, it's only the feet) - can't say it changed anything with the feet yet, though.
I'm upstairs on my mom's couch so I can better put up my feet (I don't have a couch but armchairs).
Can't wait to get to the doctor tomorrow. I'm wrecked. Totally wrecked. And angsty. And slightly hysterical.
| | 23 demons<add something> |
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Kept being miserable. Between a monster of a migraine and the reprise of the crampy pain I might have had 2 good hours. Well, maybe not really good either but in comparison they rocked and I spent them sitting in my armchair being grateful.
Can this stop, PLEASE!
In addition to the damned thyroid issue it seems that getting the hormone coil wasn't such a splendid idea after all.
| | 13 demons<add something> |
| Fucking dipshit asshat doctor's practices!!!!!!
edited after crying fit:
It's one thing that the therapy plan hasn't arrived by mail at my GP's yet so I can only start getting my medicine on Monday (and those hormones don't work fast, it'll take some more days for any effect kicking in).
But what induced my helpless rage is that I spent the whole morning calling them, each time they told me they hadn't *checked* yet if the file was there - and I knew they don't see patients in the afternoon. And yes, the doctor himself had told me to call in the morning so I could still get a Friday appointment because things are kind of urgent, just that assistant gave a shit.
Only when I called once more and got a different nurse on the phone she actually gave me that information.
At least I can be rather sure they'll have the stuff on Monday because I also called the specialist's practice and they confirmed that they have already dispatched the letter.
Don't get me started about why not to use fax.
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Wow, there was a part of my body not hurting or giving up yet (momentarily) - but now it's kicking me in the groin while I'm already lying in the gutter. Having bad cramps, dry heaving so to say, since I have the hormone coil in there. Which I intended to be taking care of all that bloody crampy stuff. And I'm even on fairly strong pain and inflammation killers anyway, for the thyroid gland.
So great. Feel like rolling into foetal position and whimpering. And sharing this crucial piece of information with the world.
Augh. ARGH! Mow. BAAAAH!
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Lots of fun and a great time at ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) firefly_sunny's housewarming party yesterday - too tired for verbs, home past 3am, more sleep!
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What did I think?
"I'm not currently depressed, how can I change that, oh yes, in the course of this year's Buffy marathon I won't omit The Body, that'll do."
Did nicely.
Argh.
| | 3 demons<add something> |
| The vine looks different this year - it usually just gets orange and red, but here it's all veiny and reptile; colour me impressed.
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I'm aware that currently I'm not even the only one with a bad cold - and as colds go, this isn't even the worst I ever had, by far.
Still. I'm utterly depressed. I suspect the background of this is my thyroid hormone levels, once more. And I'm already taking ten times the amount of stuff other people with the same disease take. But there were other symptoms reappearing again, too, like the red rash around my eyes, being cold, having all the energy sucked out of me...
My new GP wrote me a transferral for a radiologist, who she says is an expert on thyroid stuff. Now I'm hoping, should I ever get an appointment there, they might have some idea, maybe with additional medication, how to handle my weird case. First they'd have to answer the phone, though, which they haven't - and I tried calling them all afternoon.
For me this is more than just having a cold. I'm afraid, nah, scared shitless, that I won't recover from it but that I have fallen back into the old state of constant sniffles-zero energy-left for dead-ness.
And also: meh, sore throat and the challenge not to snort into my scarf, which is also grey, as is my hanky-shirt. Which is an old t-shirt I use as hanky when I have the sniffles and I wash it at 90°C and with fabric softener. Am I oversharing now? I'm oversharing. Sorry.
So I broke down today and bought a litre of milk and I'm having milky tea after meals. Sweet milky comfort-y goodness. I'm ignoring my digestive issues for now. I need that milky tea. Shut up.
And you 3 people who were also going to be at the FIS this weekend: Have fun! I'm going to maintain the time-honoured tradition of being ill and not coming.
*sigh*
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There might be hope for mankind after all - at least, the kind of stupid sexist crap that passed for humorous banter in the late 80s wouldn't be accepted in a TV show today anymore. Let's not have a very close look at modern TV shows because there's still enough stupid sexist crap around - but I don't watch those.
In the early 90s however I watched Moonlighting and loved it. Ok, maybe that proves only that my level of acceptance has been raised - but I know that this show was well-liked and remembered fondly by many people. I'd like to dare them watch it again...
Since it was indeed the first series that did really weird stuff like completely leaving reality behind and do surreal things I'm still struggling with myself if I might just hop along, skipping 5 episodes at a time and check out if it gets more sufferable later on - or if I just dump the whole 5 seasons and forget about it.
And for those people I lost at "sexist" because they think this is all just good natured fun and we shouldn't see things so strictly:
a) Why are you reading this, do I know you? Could you please leave, watch some more German "comedians" on TV and then maybe get hit by a falling anvil?
b) It's not only the "banter" that is highly annoying. Those plots are... Sesame Street has more coherence.
| | 18 demons<add something> |
| This song is my current (music related) obsession...
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shannachie got the Deutscher Phantastik Preis (German Award of Fantasy Literature) at the scifi/fantasy part of the Frankfurt book fair (BuCon), in the category "best German language newcomer"!!!
It was very exciting and Sabine and I were a disgrace since we applauded very much for everyone who was 5th to 2nd - afterwards we found out Ju knew in advance she'd get it and really didn't let it slip.
Then Ju, blaufeuer, Holger, Brumi, Sabine (the Amazon lady) and I had Chinese (in my case: jasmine tea) and celebrated.
Woot!!!
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I've made the songs of my first CD,
The Inner Light,
recorded 1996 with, at and by the late Bernd Felsberger,
available on my website
(underneath the Christmas songs).
I'm sorry for the bad English.
Periphery...
| | 2 demons<add something> |
| If you have placed an order with CD Baby you've gotten the same e-mail. I want to share this with everyone who hasn't:
Christine-
Thanks for your order with CD Baby!
USPS
(1) Tom Smith: Tom Smith and His Digital Acoustic Compilation
Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.
A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing.
Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.
We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved "Bon Voyage!" to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, October 13, 2009.
We hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. In commemoration, we have placed your picture on our wall as "Customer of the Year." We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Sigh...
We miss you already. We'll be right here at http://cdbaby.com, patiently awaiting your return.
| | 18 demons<add something> |
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Thinking about the con (and this happens every time) I can't tell proper stories about it. And I tend to forget parts I was actually very enthusiastic about. What I'm going to do now is just collect those memories as they occur to me - and I'm going to edit this post when I remember something else. LJ hates me. Using LJ tags trashes my text. So no LJ tags but real names.
- the weather on Friday was great, sunny, Indian Summer and sitting in the court yard with Alexa when she and her family arrived was very much like old times
- I can't write something about Chris' performance because he claims that I'm biased. So, yeah, I guess his set was ok-ish. I can mention the 8 orphan puppies and the cure for cancer, though, since it's not his own song
- Silke made me want to smoke and breathe in French
- Aryana's piano version of Ju's Dreams Of Salt song
- Fargoch and Ju dancing in the Sunday night circle
- the tomato line at the Friday dinner buffet, having fun with Brigitte
- getting to know Eli, together with Sib
- having a friendly and relaxed conversation with an ex-boyfriend
- Nan singing the blues. Armadillo (yeah) and hippos (not my cow)
- Alexa's Fön song (There are two kinds of deer, those snoring and those gnashing...)
- Sunny, Jela and Ju performing that Fiacha song
- apple cake in the little café
- the Bohnhoff's parodies sure rocked - usually you don't know that many songs you can immediately hum along with; and they did 39 in the circle
- I didn't miss a single panel (ok, came a bit late sometimes, but didn't completely miss) and attended not a single workshop. Perfect. (yes, I'm lazy, why?)
| | 8 demons<add something> |
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I'm back from FilkContinental, having an extreme case of con blues.
There are no words for how it felt seeing all of you again.
As usual I didn't really take pictures even though I had my camera with me - the only occasion I really used it was at shannachie's Scottish Dance workshop:
(Nan and Crystal)
More pictures can be found at Flickr.
As usual after such an event I've tried to find new people on the Internet - I did find Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff on LJ and Nan on Facebook - does anybody know if "Eliphants" can be found here, too?
I'm going to sleep a bit now - I'm totally knackered. :o)
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| Good news, people - I'm going to import a very annoying gastro bug to FilkContinental! Isn't it great to have more than one disease to catch at the castle? Plain old con flu - come on. Everyone had it at least once. So how about some gaseous embarrassment this year!
Going to pack now. This will be such a great drive to the castle - I feel like I could fly there using the air in my bowels; propulsion included. | | 15 demons<add something> |
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All the parts of the Ultimate Pirate Sweater are finished - all there is left to do is assemble them and crochet around the neckline. I hate assembling... I'm really happy I made it in time for FilkContinental though!
I bet catless people think I always take the pains to carefully arrange Brötchen on basically every photo I ever take and that it takes skills to keep her in front of the camera. Not that it's just impossible for me to take a picture without her sitting exactly in the focus of my attention.
(The stripey parts with the skull and crossbones illusion knitting pattern are the sleeves, the back part is with the Jack Sparrow Fair Isle, Brötchen is lying on the front part which is simply black and the black triangles behind her arse are lace wedges for the sleeves. When I pinned the sweater to a t-shirt and looked at it in the mirror I decided to skip the hood. It looks very good without one.)
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Demons
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